Men who date women 'half your age': What are the pros and cons? If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to Firefox and add this open source script.
Not saying you are in the wrong, but i read a sad interview with a 60 year old woman who takes care of her 80 year old husband, and how she feels it robbed her of part kf her life. She can't do what normal 60 year old couples do. I know someone who married 20 years older. She's 40, he's an old 60 and somewhat feels that way. Then again, I heard from someone 10 years younger that I am late 40s who went to a relationship therapist about dating someone 15 years older than her.
Therapist asked the question "Is it better to live 30 years with your soulmate or 50 years without? Dating younger is one thing, but bs like soul mates and the one, hell no.
That's the language used from counselor to 30 year old female. So see it from her perspective. To me, it would if the 30 years were the equivalent to the 30 first years in the 50 years deal but IMO, it's not and even if it were, you'd still have to consider whether you are comparing living 30 years with your 'soulmate' vs 50 years without or if it's 30 years with this 'soulmate' vs 50 years with a different one.
I completely understand and respect that other people make a different choice though. She would still feel robbed if she married someone her own age and he became disabled through injury or sickness.
It could have just as easily been her suffering from poor health. She is ignoring the yrs of health they had together. What many "normal" 60 year old couples do together is one feeds worms while the other tends their grave.
Sometimes it ends quick, sometimes it ends slow. The only thing that's a sure bet is that it is going to end. If she can't look back on the good years together and accept the inevitable, then that's on her. Most 60 year old people are usually in great health nowdays. So much so that many countries have upped the pension age to This woman is basically complaining that her "golden years" of ages aren't going to be very good. Because of her husband's failing health.
Let's assume this hypothetical woman was a young 25 yrs old when she got married to an old 45yr old man. She's the rare 1 in 5 that made it through 35years of marriage. People's lives are not perfect and that's what she is comparing against- a theoretical perfect life.
I do not feel sad for her. I kind of feel sad for him because she views him as a burden instead of a partner. Most 60 year old people I know are overweight, completely sedentary and dependent on at least 1 or 2 medications. I wouldn't call that "great health". I only know a few senior people who are actually in what I'd call "great health" and these are the people who have been active and healthy eaters for most of their lives.
They seem healthier and more energetic than an average 35 year old. My relatives are from Eastern Europe. The women all reach their 80's and the men get pretty close. Even drinking all of the rakija. Yeah, our lifespan is pretty good, but that has more to do with modern medicine than healthy lifestyle. Old people who live very long are usually the ones who used to live the traditional village lifestyle - spend a lot of time outside, move a lot, eat healthy whole foods without all that artificial shit we have now.
Body stuff isn't too bad, but mentally there is a lot of deterioration. They still retain their muscle mass, their joints work great, they're still very flexible, have great immune system and endurance, etc. That's because they've still been using their bodies to the fullest all that time, while many people in industrialized countries have a mindset that as soon as they reach 40 or so they should start treating themselves like they're made of porcelain, or just become lazy.
Also, obviously people who were never active or had a good lifestyle when they were young are going to feel a lot worse when they're old. Many older eople in some countries where traditional lifestyle is still very prevalent, like Japan or India, are like that too. For example, this man can do that while many people his age can't even reach their toes without bending their knees or trace cyrus dating even fully bend down without a lot of effort.
That's usually a choice, not because of a physical restriction, dating half your age. Hell, my dad is 63 and he cycles at least a km a week. Yeah, my parents are super active, too, but they're not representative, certainly not of the American population anyway.
The 60 olds where I live a very active. My grandma still lifted weights in her 60's. There is usually loads of them hiking around the trails. That's her choice though. Yeah, foresight would be great, but a lot of us feel that way. Hell, avoiding drugs would have been a great place to start, but that's life.
We live and we learn. Of course, but the example I gave is one of the good scenarios. I'm not saying it's bad to have a relationship with someone who is 20 years younger, but that interview showed a problem I've never really thought about. But who knows, in years, 80 might be the current Yeah you're old, but you can still have an active life if you're healthy.
With things like this, I wouldn't be suprised if when he's 60 she moves on to green or more comparable pastures. Often doesn't get my references to things that I grew up with, which can make me feel really fucking old. That would be a huge turn off for me.
I had the opportunity to date a lady 10 years younger than me a couple years ago I'm 31 dating half your age. I just could not relate to her in terms of interests.
She was hot as hell but I couldn't do it. Plus she couldn't come to any bars. There's a huge mental difference from 19 to I don't think the mental difference is as huge. I don't disagree with that. The man I was at 18 is very different from the one I was at 22, 26, and now at I expect the man I will be at 35 is different too. The other part of it is mental. Put very well by a woman I knew who said this as she and her husband were approaching their 60s and had been married since their teens: All I know is my grandfather, well into his 80's, always told me that his wife was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.
I have to imagine that this is a huge pro, dating half your age, especially since you plan to be together long term. No matter how long you are together, you will always to be able to look at her with a certain kind of admiration.
I imagine the flip side is the "long after me" part and the possibility that she won't return that admiration once you hit your 's. Congrats on your upcoming marriage! My husband and I have a similar age gap and we have such an incredibly fun, fulfilling marriage. I wish the same for you!
My partner seems to be more willing to work through issues instead of just giving up like all the other men I dated. There are some age related issues, mainly the ones that the original commenter in the thread posted about. I am definitely more immature, but he's pretty patient.
He has no children or ex wife so I don't have to deal with relating to them. Doesn't know who Radiohead are I'm 22 and most guys in my peer group only know Radiohead from that South Park episode. Is that what happened here?
Had a fwb that was 23, I was 33 at the time, 34 now. Was fun when we did hook up, the cons I found quite annoying. I found women closer to my age more satisfying in the end. I'd bang an 18 year old. I don't even know where 18 year olds go for fun anymore, so I don't imagine it matters much.
Call her up on the rotary phone, have her come over and watch MTV music videos on my 39" big screen tube tv Put in my Chris Isaac tapes to really dating half your age her in the mood.
I had the same reaction when I had to make sure Zima was discontinued, and was looking at kickboxing and a non-recreational use Rx. It stopped inwhen you were I'd say it is highly possible.
They never tasted it or got drunk on it in high school. I found some in a novelty store in Japan.
Support Science of Relationships by shopping at Amazon. Quickies Just for Fun. Browse all topics Browse all articles Browse by category. According to this rule, it would not be creepy for a 30 year old to date a 22 year-old, but an 18 year-old would be off-limits.
Although this is a fun rule of thumb, what does research say about age preferences for potential mates? From an evolutionary perspective , it makes sense for women to prefer mates with resources and to like partners who are more established, both of which are more likely in older partners.
Men, in contrast, are hypothesized to be most attracted to women in their reproductive prime, which tends to be when they are younger. Data from Kenrick and Keefe 1 support these predictions. Younger men tend to prefer women a few years younger or older than themselves; but as they get older, they increasingly prefer younger women relative to their own age. After all, you can't always get what you want.
It turns out that, on average, women tend to be married to men a few years older than themselves years. However, younger men i. So maybe there is a kernel of truth the rule, at least for men. Using the Mythbusters system, it seems that this one is partly confirmed. Interested in learning more about relationships? Age preferences in mates reflect sex differences in human reproductive strategies. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 15, Le's research focuses on commitment, including the factors associated with commitment and its role in promoting maintenance.
He has published on the topics of breakup, geographic separation, infidelity, social networks, cognition, and need fulfillment and emotions in relationships. View Printer Friendly Version. Email Article to Friend. This is old science from when women relied on men financially.
Now that we don't need to do that we're going for younger men. Literally, we are choosing physical attraction over security because we now have options that never existed for us before.
Also, science only looked at fertility in women up until recently. Now science has studied mens ability to father children and discovered that there is an increased risk of miscarriage and birth deformities when the male partner is over Women are delaying having children, so biologically we need younger partners.
This change in attraction is happening very fast. The stats you show do not account for these rapid changes that only began in the 's. If you look at studies now you'll see that women have an average 9 year age range either side of their own with a preference for a small 4 years either side of their own age. Men may not like this trend but it's happening with or without their approval. What about overlaying the line also on the "oldest preferred" data? That is, do men's preferences also closely match the "rule" when they're the younger ones?
Age gap relationships actually work the best and they help to stop people from being ageist in the same way that mixed-race relationships help to stop people from being racist. Anyone looking for an age gap relationship should try Friends with Benefits UK, where the members span from fresh faced young adults to mature silver foxes and the people are open minded, respectful and free from prejudice.
A Word From Our Sponsors. Main What are We Fighting About?: Benjamin Le October 4, Reader Comments 3 This is old science from when women relied on men financially.
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AdMatch® Members Are 3X More Likely To Find a Relationship. Join Now for Free! But online dating is still important for this age group. 6) Youthful Health & Vitality. Yes, your maturity will attract her. But you can’t seem too old, either. Go for dichotomy. For example, having salt & pepper hair combined with a youthful, muscular body. Hit the gym, take care of your skin, fix your teeth, and maximize your overall health. This Dating Age Range Calculator just a fun tool to predict your dating age. Half your age plus seven rule states "never date anyone under half your age plus 7" also meaning .
Wallace A common rule of thumb, at least on the internet, is that it’s okay to be interested in someone “half your age plus seven” years. According to this rule, it would not be creepy for a 30 year old to date a 22 year-old, but an 18 year-old would be off-limits. Although this is a fun rule of thumb. Graph of the Half-age-plus-seven rule ("never date anyone under half your age plus 7"), which claims to dictate what age disparity between two people is acceptable in dating/romantic/intimate relationships during the late 20th century / early 21st century (called the "Standard creepiness rule" in the xkcd webcomic).